It goes without saying, given the tone of my blog that I've been struggling. Big time. Mentally and physically. With every aspect of life. My personal life, my finances, my work, my friendships, you name it. And this is where I come to whine.
Today was started off with health issues. Ended up at urgent care, getting a shot in the butt by a handsome twentysomething guy (Um, I almost died of embarrassment) and a prescription for steroids and antibiotics. My cold/sinus madness turned into a sinus infection and bronchitis which made my asthma haywire. The butt shot and steroids I started this evening have kicked in. I can breathe better and am now wound the heck up. I've been on a cleaning spree and have to remind myself to not overdo it. Consider this my break.
Amidst all the other crap I'm dealing with, my car now decides to change it's relationship status with me from "in a relationship" to "it's complicated". The check engine light is flashing, it's going *cough, cough* and every stoplight I hit tonight I prayed it would go again. So at this point it's deciding what to do. Get my old car fixed and legal? Repair this (which would most likely cost more) and pray it works? I've had it in the shop 3 times since hitting the deer in 2011 so I'm thinking it may be to bring the Boopmobile back to life. All of the above, requiring the funds to do so. *blank stare*
So to whoever anonymously posted a life vest would be nice, you hit the nail on the head. I've got a few things going that could possibly end up well, but in the meantime, that life vest would be nice to cling to as the Good Ship Barbie Girl slowly sinks!
I actually got the line "I refuse to sink" off a picture of a tattoo on Facebook. But it's fitting for the way I feel right now. I feel like I'm sinking, sinking, sinking. Financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, any way possible. The financial issues are probably the stem of all the other issues. I don't know how many people have told me, just don't worry, God will provide. I'm a Christian, but I suspect when the day comes that they come to shut off my electric or cable or water that they are going to want cold hard cash, not a sermon. And forgive me, I don't mean to mock God but I'm just cynical right now. The weeks I have Barbie, Jr. are pretty good, aside from last week when we were sick. But she keeps me busy, she keeps me sane. The weeks like this, when she's gone I'm lost, lonesome, sad. I'm tired of being a doormat. Someone's last thought. Their option. Tired of not standing up for myself whether it be ...
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