It's funny. If you had told me this time last week that things would calm down for me this week, I wouldn't have believed you. It's hard to believe how much things can change in less than a week. Not huge, life-changing events, but things small enough that they make you do realize that everything happens for a reason.
For one, I'm moving to a smaller, more affordable house. Same landlord, keep my pets, etc. It's nice when you realize how much people really are looking out for you. It's so touching. I really am blessed and thankful for the people in my life.
Second, I broke down and sold my old Boopmobile. It was a bittersweet moment. But part of me feels like it is just another step in letting go of my past. That car holds a lot of memories, happy and sad. It was time to let it go.
So the next two weeks shall be busy. The thought of getting packed in move in the next 14 days overwhelms me, but I'll get it done.
I actually got the line "I refuse to sink" off a picture of a tattoo on Facebook. But it's fitting for the way I feel right now. I feel like I'm sinking, sinking, sinking. Financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, any way possible. The financial issues are probably the stem of all the other issues. I don't know how many people have told me, just don't worry, God will provide. I'm a Christian, but I suspect when the day comes that they come to shut off my electric or cable or water that they are going to want cold hard cash, not a sermon. And forgive me, I don't mean to mock God but I'm just cynical right now. The weeks I have Barbie, Jr. are pretty good, aside from last week when we were sick. But she keeps me busy, she keeps me sane. The weeks like this, when she's gone I'm lost, lonesome, sad. I'm tired of being a doormat. Someone's last thought. Their option. Tired of not standing up for myself whether it be ...
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