Skip to main content

I refuse to sink...

I actually got the line "I refuse to sink" off a picture of a tattoo on Facebook. But it's fitting for the way I feel right now. I feel like I'm sinking, sinking, sinking. Financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, any way possible. The financial issues are probably the stem of all the other issues. I don't know how many people have told me, just don't worry, God will provide. I'm a Christian, but I suspect when the day comes that they come to shut off my electric or cable or water that they are going to want cold hard cash, not a sermon. And forgive me, I don't mean to mock God but I'm just cynical right now. The weeks I have Barbie, Jr. are pretty good, aside from last week when we were sick. But she keeps me busy, she keeps me sane. The weeks like this, when she's gone I'm lost, lonesome, sad. I'm tired of being a doormat. Someone's last thought. Their option. Tired of not standing up for myself whether it be at work when I'm overwhelmed or when I'm feeling forgotten. I'm just tired. But I'll take a break and keep swimming because I refuse to sink.

Comments

Anonymous said…
Well said...though I am sure it would be nice to see a life vest floating by every once and a while.
10:18 PM
Unknown said…
This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.
10:15 AM
Unknown said…
Free Download Premium WordPress Themes and Blogging Tools blogger Templates and joomla templates and much more
free wordpress themes
2:02 PM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

BG: New and Improved

 Barbie girl here. It's been a while huh? Since I last posted in October, 2021 a lot has changed. My father passed away. I've gotten my heart broken, again. I had major surgery and lost over 100 pounds. I've had some really hard, honest, raw conversations with myself. Grew closer with my family. Grew closer with my children. Learned to love myself once and for all. The Grief Papa Barbie passed away in February, 2022.  It was the single, most difficult thing I have ever faced. He was my hero. The one who taught me to love baseball. The one who taught me how to do things. The one who taught me to drive on back roads of Wayne County.  It was somewhat unexpected, but he had been battling health issues for some time. He was home, in his favorite chair, just exactly where he would have wanted to be.  We suspected it was closing in on us because he started talking to family members who had passed in the months leading up to his death. My family and my sister's family had be...
Post a Comment
Read more

Kindness goes a long way

My last post was about how I refused to be irrelevant. I posted it the day before my 42nd birthday.  It was and is a phrase that has stuck with me.  I haven't blogged since, although I have been planning to. So months later, here On my birthday I received an anonymous gift of a beautiful Edible Arrangement with the attached card: I want whoever you are to know, I carry this with me in my wallet every single day.  I have a few special things that I keep with me always, a drawing Savannah did, a poem she wrote me to tell me everything would be fine when her dad and I were in an ugly custody battle, and now this.  Whoever you are, your kind gesture holds a spot among the most treasured things I carry with me day in and day out.  I take it out when I am having an especially down day to remind myself that I do matter.  That I am relevant. Yesterday was one of those days.  I was feeling down, unloved, unappreciated, so I took the note out and read...
Post a Comment
Read more