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Big. Fat. Phooey.

I'm in one of those moods where I feel like the world is against me.  One where I feel panicked, like my breath is being taken from me.  It's been a really long time since I felt this way, in fact, I was probably married the last time I felt like that.  I just feel like I want to sit and cry.

Typically we try and find things to be thankful for in November.  I could name a million things I'm thankful for, and at the end of the day, even the things that are stressing me out right now are pretty minor.  I just feel like it's been one blow after another this month.  Pneumonia, asthma, flooding, vet bills, sick cats, broken dryers, broken wallet and now, my car is effed up.  All while trying to Christmas shop.  They'll let me buy things on my looks alone, right? Not that I'd get very far in that department with this rudolph nose, pale face and bags under my eyes from lack of sleep due to stress.

And now, the "girlfriend" has requested to talk to me.  I have no clue why, but it better be something stupid and not something (like my child) that is none of her business.

Not to mention, I'm really worried about Barbie Jr.  She seems quiet these days and gives me little to no insight on what's going on in her mind.  On top of it all, I've convinced myself I caused Dolly's back injury when I gave her a bath at the beginning of the month.  It was after that when she started to have problems.  It makes me physically ill to think I may have been the cause of it.

I feel like I want to just crawl in a hole and stay there.  Or hibernate for the winter.  A bubble bath would be great but I don't have any fucking clean towels because my dryer is broke and I haven't made it to the laundromat because oh, it costs a lot of quarters, which I haven't had.

Big. Fat. Phooey!


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