Some things I've realized...

I go through the moments where I'm bitter, and angry, and jealous that asshat has someone to spend his time with. But at the end of the day, I realize I am the one who is lucky! I am the one who has a wonderful, supportive family and wonderful, true, real, amazing friends who would do anything for me. And he doesn't have that. So in the end, I win. Because my true friendships will outlast any relationship he ever has.

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Time flies when you're having fun.

Heck, I don't even know if anyone still reads my madness or not. But here I am, posting again. Let's see, since my last post Barbie Jr has officially become a teenager and Barbie Girl is a mother yet again. A teenager and a newborn, should be interesting. I've been off work several months due to pregnancy related health issues and just hope to have a job to return to. As scary as becoming a mother again was, it has all come back to me. My whole world is officially complete. My life is better than I ever could have imagined. I've come a long way. A really long way.

BG: New and Improved

Barbie girl here. It's been a while huh? Since I last posted in October, 2021 a lot has changed. My father passed away. I've gotten my heart broken, again. I had major surgery and lost over 100 pounds. I've had some really hard, honest, raw conversations with myself. Grew closer with my family. Grew closer with my children. Learned to love myself once and for all. The Grief Papa Barbie passed away in February, 2022. It was the single, most difficult thing I have ever faced. He was my hero. The one who taught me to love baseball. The one who taught me how to do things. The one who taught me to drive on back roads of Wayne County. It was somewhat unexpected, but he had been battling health issues for some time. He was home, in his favorite chair, just exactly where he would have wanted to be. We suspected it was closing in on us because he started talking to family members who had passed in the months leading up to his death. My family and my sister's family had be...

I refuse to be irrelevant.

After insisting to my friends at work that I had *tried* to watch "Grace and Frankie" I discovered that I lied. I had watched maybe 15 minutes of the show. So I gave it a second chance. I'm about halfway through the first season and something the character Grace said hit me like a ton of bricks. "I refuse to be irrelevant." I. Refuse. To. Be. Irrelevant. To me it is a powerful statement. And one I need to relate to more. Because I can so related to feeling irrelevant these days. I feel like I don't matter. I mean of course, there are people I matter to, and others who make me feel irrelevant. Who make me feel like my presence doesn't matter. And I blame myself. Tomorrow is my birthday and I don't even care. I've always been all woohoo, my birthday is coming up. This year? I could care less. It's a Tuesday. I have zero expectations. I'm sure people on Facebook will wish me happy birthday, but ...

Step Away From The Barbies

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