Panic. Sadness. Hurt.

Feelings you experience when you realize you made a mistake.

The fear of having my heart broken caused me to let go of someone I now realize I deeply cared about. Combined with a controlling, abusive ex-husband who threatened harm if that person kept coming around. And now all I am left with is sadness in my heart. Why must I be so damn stubborn and afraid?

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BG: New and Improved

Barbie girl here. It's been a while huh? Since I last posted in October, 2021 a lot has changed. My father passed away. I've gotten my heart broken, again. I had major surgery and lost over 100 pounds. I've had some really hard, honest, raw conversations with myself. Grew closer with my family. Grew closer with my children. Learned to love myself once and for all. The Grief Papa Barbie passed away in February, 2022. It was the single, most difficult thing I have ever faced. He was my hero. The one who taught me to love baseball. The one who taught me how to do things. The one who taught me to drive on back roads of Wayne County. It was somewhat unexpected, but he had been battling health issues for some time. He was home, in his favorite chair, just exactly where he would have wanted to be. We suspected it was closing in on us because he started talking to family members who had passed in the months leading up to his death. My family and my sister's family had be...

Time flies when you're having fun.

Heck, I don't even know if anyone still reads my madness or not. But here I am, posting again. Let's see, since my last post Barbie Jr has officially become a teenager and Barbie Girl is a mother yet again. A teenager and a newborn, should be interesting. I've been off work several months due to pregnancy related health issues and just hope to have a job to return to. As scary as becoming a mother again was, it has all come back to me. My whole world is officially complete. My life is better than I ever could have imagined. I've come a long way. A really long way.

100 random things

Apparently, this is my 100th blog entry post-divorce. I wonder what I'd be up to if I still had up my archives??? Anyway, I will attempt to tell you 100 random things. Some you might already know, some you may not. Let's see how I do: I have a Barbie poster hanging in my current bedroom. I currently have 3 cats, a dog of my own and a foster dog My toenails are painted purple My fingernails are painted black My hair is the longest it has been in 20 plus years I'm happier overweight than I was when I was thin I spent half my life in a relationship with my ex-husband I have several nicknames including: Fred, Freddie, Froffie and the newest Froffles I have 5 tattoos Most of the shirts in my wardrobe are black or gray I stocked up on Puffs tissues with Vicks because you can only find them in the winter I have an older sister My parents are both retired I was a majorette in high school I also played clarinet I can no longer read music I wish I could...

Step Away From The Barbies

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