Skip to main content

Grizzly bears, families, exercise and other ramblings.

It's been a pretty good weekend.  For one, I got my haircut which ALWAYS makes the world a better place AND I got bangs.  I got to spend it with Barbie Jr., my mom and my nephew.  We got my yard mowed so now my neighbors no longer hate me.  And I hopped on the scales at my parents house and I had lost 4 pounds. And we went to the zoo.

The whole Zoo experience was weird.  The travel part brought up so many memories from relationships past.  Memories from when I was dating Ken as well as memories of relationships since my divorce. It was bittersweet.  Of course I always love the zoo. The part that made me sad was encountering the families.  The moms and dads and their kids.  It made me sad because Barbie, Jr. never got to experience that.  I wonder if she has any memories of things we did as a family because I know I don't.  Usually when we went somewhere like that it was the two of us. And it makes me sad.  It makes me feel like a failure as a parent. Like her dad and I have robbed her of this.  And it made me sad because I long to be part of a happy family.  A mom, a dad/step-dad and the kids.  I long to be part of a relationship where we can plan to go somewhere for the day and take Barbie, Jr. and his kids if he had any. Maybe someday.

I officially start my weight loss venture tomorrow.  I've been informally watching what I eat since joining Weight Watchers but not counting points.  Tomorrow begins the points. I'm pretty excited.  I've been on pinterest, pinning exercises,  motivational posters and other tips like crazy. The 4 pound weight loss has been a huge help.  Showing me simple things like drinking mostly water can really help.  I've also decided to try and cut out as much artificial sweetener as I can.  I'd like to phase out soda but I'm taking baby steps.  I've switched to Diet Coke with Splenda and to putting Splenda in my iced tea as opposed to sweet n low. My plan is to drink as much water as I can during the day and allowing myself one soda and/or iced tea. I can do this, I need to do this and I will do this.


Comments

Mrs Smart Ass said…
You can and you will do this :) You got this!!!! <3
1:03 AM
Route 75 said…
One thing that has helped me tremendously has been drinking A Lot less diet coke and more water. I hate water, but I put Mio in it and it makes it 1000% better. Try it. It's good.....and good luck!
1:58 AM
Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

100 random things

Apparently, this is my 100th blog entry post-divorce.  I wonder what I'd be up to if I still had up my archives???  Anyway, I will attempt to tell you 100 random things.  Some you might already know, some you may not.  Let's see how I do: I have a Barbie poster hanging in my current bedroom. I currently have 3 cats, a dog of my own and a foster dog My toenails are painted purple My fingernails are painted black My hair is the longest it has been in 20 plus years I'm happier overweight than I was when I was thin I spent half my life in a relationship with my ex-husband I have several nicknames including: Fred, Freddie, Froffie and the newest Froffles I have 5 tattoos Most of the shirts in my wardrobe are black or gray I stocked up on Puffs tissues with Vicks because you can only find them in the winter I have an older sister My parents are both retired I was a majorette in high school I also played clarinet I can no longer read music I wish I could...
3 comments
Read more

Take Me As I Am

Ask my momma about the day I was born and you'll hear a story of my dad sleeping, my mom sneaking to scrub baseboards, her hemorrhaging and both of us nearly dying.  Moral of the story, I came into this world to the beat of my own drum.  No, no birth is "typical" but this event set the stage for my life. I was never the kid who wanted to be like all the other kids.  I was always unique.  I was never afraid of what people might think.  I did my own thing.  I still liked New Kids on the Block when I was 18, did I care?  No.  Did I care that I maybe didn't dress like everyone else?  No.  Did I care that my hair wasn't perfect?  No.  Little things that added up to make me who I was. While I've changed a lot over 37 years, one aspect that has changed very little is the fact that I still, march to the beat of my own drum.  And it's often said, that is one thing people admire about me.  That I've never been afraid to ...
1 comment
Read more

Mirror, mirror

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my ex-husband and what transpired between us 2 years ago. Every day when I look at myself in the mirror, I am reminded of what happened that day.  A day that opened my eyes and showed me what I needed to do. Oddly enough, even though I think about it every single day, this year, the date passed and I didn't even realize it until today.  I'd like to think it's because I have put all that behind me.  At least, I hope that's what it is.  I've come a long way since that day. I'm a different person now than I was, but one thing has become abundantly clear to me, I am not so sure I like the person I have started to become. There have been many things over the past couple of years I am not proud of.  I've done some pretty stupid things while trying to soul search and find myself.  Yeah, we all make mistakes.  My problem? I keep making them.  The biggest thing I dislike about myself is my apparent inabili...
3 comments
Read more