Skip to main content

Does anyone else see that elephant in the room?

So yeah, there's an elephant in the room. In my world it's a pink elephant.  And everyone seems to be shouting over it not acknowledging it.  But there will come a time you can't ignore it any longer.

Today's elephant? My current relationship or lack thereof.  In recent months I have been in a so-called relationship. One that went from multiple texts and a phone call each day to an occasional text every few days.  It's been over a week since we spoke on the phone and since we've seen one another. And since it doesn't seem he's open to meeting Barbie, Jr. it will be even longer since the potential to see one another will happen.

So there comes a point when someone needs to step up and call the other person out.  And like always it's gonna be me.  I'm sorry, but I'm not okay with this "relationship". I'm not okay with getting to spend a couple hours here and there with someone and calling it a relationship.  I call that bullshit.  I call that, you have something else going on somewhere and I'm just a fill in.  And damnit, I deserve better than that.

He knows I've been struggling with my depression the past few weeks.  Maybe that's what has pushed him away.  Which brings another point, I don't need that.  I need someone who will stick by me when my depression rears its ugly head. Who will hold my hand through it and remind me that everything will be okay. Maybe that's not out there. Maybe I'll never find that.  Maybe I'm delusional but I don't think I expect too much out of a relationship.

So it's time to call him out on the elephant I think and finalize this bad boy. When Tuesday rolls around, I become a full time mommy again and ain't nobody got time for that nonsense.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Time flies when you're having fun.

Heck, I don't even know if anyone still reads my madness or not.  But here I am, posting again.   Let's see, since my last post Barbie Jr has officially become a teenager and Barbie Girl is a mother yet again.   A teenager and a newborn, should be interesting.   I've been off work several months due to pregnancy related health issues and just hope to have a job to return to.  As scary as becoming a mother again was, it has all come back to me.  My whole world is officially complete.  My life is better than I ever could have imagined.  I've come a long way. A really long way.

Who says you can't go home?

It was between the lyrics "I went as far as I could, I tried to find a new face. There isn't one of these lines that I would erase. I lived a million miles of memories on that road." and "Guess who's back?  Back again?" for the title to this post, but "Who says you can't go home?" seemed perfect as I feel like I'm home again.

It's silly, I know.  I don't know if anyone even reads blogs anymore.  I don't know if anyone reads mine.  It doesn't really matter.  My therapist suggested I write again whether it be in my journal or blogging.  But my immediate thought was this blog.  This is where I poured my heart out for years and it feels like my home. The last post I made here was about how wonderful my life was.  How much better it was. That was a little over a year ago.  And let me tell you.  It's been a hell of a year. My kiddos are wonderful.  Barbie Jr. while still sassy at times, is becoming such a beautiful (of course…

Glimpses of karma

It's pretty sad, I blog so seldom, I had to go back and see what my last post was about.  And when.  Nearly 4 months have passed and there have been so many more changes in my life.

The big change is, I was granted an amazing job opportunity that I couldn't turn down.  So on August 15, I said goodbye to the job I'd held for over 13 years.  It was time for a change.  I'm still a paralegal but it's a completely different setting and better pay.  I can finally afford to give my daughter the things she needs and deserves without worrying how to make ends meet.

Really that's the biggest change.  There have been minor changes some of which I may have already mentioned within my family.  Good and bad but we know things could always get worse so we manage.  My dad's health has been failing for some time and we now know he has early stages of dementia.  Being a daddy's girl, it's difficult to see, but I cherish the time I have with him.

Barbie Jr is still he…