Skip to main content

Barbie's land of happy, and blessed, and happy

I don't know where to start.  As I stated, I'm happy.  Very happy. But it's not just about finding someone.  It's about all the things.  Rekindling my relationship with God. (okay, so maybe it IS about finding someone) Letting go of years of bitterness and anger and resentment.  Spending the past year with someone who brick by brick has singlehandedly brought down the walls I had built up around my heart.  Finding inspiration at church again.

Tuesday I leave with my fella on a trip overnight to visit his parents.  I'm meeting the parents.  It's been 19 years and 8 months since I met parents.  I'm a nervous wreck, but I was 18 the last time I met parents so I have to be less awkward now than I was then, right?  I'm excited at the same time.

Since returning to church and finding my faith again, I've noticed many things.  For one, I am happier.  I find that I am more understanding and tolerant of people.  I find that I want to be a better person. I find things falling slowly in place for me. Little things here and there.

I'm excited about what the future holds for once in my life.  Being the week of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for many things.  Thankful for my family.  The amazing friends I have. That my fella was patient and stuck around.  That I've regained faith.  I could go on and on, but those are the main things.  Hope you have many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving as well.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

I refuse to sink...

I actually got the line "I refuse to sink" off a picture of a tattoo on Facebook. But it's fitting for the way I feel right now. I feel like I'm sinking, sinking, sinking. Financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, any way possible. The financial issues are probably the stem of all the other issues. I don't know how many people have told me, just don't worry, God will provide. I'm a Christian, but I suspect when the day comes that they come to shut off my electric or cable or water that they are going to want cold hard cash, not a sermon. And forgive me, I don't mean to mock God but I'm just cynical right now. The weeks I have Barbie, Jr. are pretty good, aside from last week when we were sick. But she keeps me busy, she keeps me sane. The weeks like this, when she's gone I'm lost, lonesome, sad. I'm tired of being a doormat. Someone's last thought. Their option. Tired of not standing up for myself whether it be ...

No more Mister Nice Girl

Clearly I realize the title of this blog is incorrect but it made me laugh.  So I've been reading this book that Big Sister Barbie bought for me over the weekend.  It's about how to break out of the "nice girl syndrome".  She didn't pick it out for me, I picked it out and she said, "You need this.  I'm buying it for you." And wow, it really hits home. I can relate to so much in that book. For instance, I'm finding I become too nice when it comes to relationships.  And the result is Barbie Girl = doormat. I don't think it's too much to ask for a little attention.  I don't think it's too much to ask for the occasional night out on the town.  I don't think it is too much to ask to just hold me for a little while rather than spend a token 2 hours with me and then rush off.  It's my choices most likely.  And my not standing up for what I deserve. So for future reference, here's what I want out of a relationship: res...

Mirror, mirror

Not a day goes by that I don't think about my ex-husband and what transpired between us 2 years ago. Every day when I look at myself in the mirror, I am reminded of what happened that day.  A day that opened my eyes and showed me what I needed to do. Oddly enough, even though I think about it every single day, this year, the date passed and I didn't even realize it until today.  I'd like to think it's because I have put all that behind me.  At least, I hope that's what it is.  I've come a long way since that day. I'm a different person now than I was, but one thing has become abundantly clear to me, I am not so sure I like the person I have started to become. There have been many things over the past couple of years I am not proud of.  I've done some pretty stupid things while trying to soul search and find myself.  Yeah, we all make mistakes.  My problem? I keep making them.  The biggest thing I dislike about myself is my apparent inabili...