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If you've never been alone....

If you are someone who has never been alone, you probably can't understand where I'm coming from.  Take me for example, I went from my parents house, to getting married and living with my husband.  35 years of never really and truly being alone.  That's a long damn time.

So I find myself, almost 36 and suddenly on my own with the exception of Barbie, Jr. 2 cats and a dog.  So granted I'm not completely alone, but I really can't call my 9 year old when I'm mad at her dad, or just to vent, or to share happy news.  I have my family but I want someone of my own.  My own special person who I can call and they can call me when they are happy/sad/stressed/etc.  My very own Mr. Barbie.  And not someone who wants to fix everything or give me solutions.  Just someone who will share in my happy/sad/whatever with me.  Someone if I call and say can you believe what so and so did, and he would say that rat bastard. I want someone who can look at me and know I need a hug.  Someone to hold my hand just because.

If I hear one more person say "you are so lucky you are alone" I might scream.  Take you are so lucky from the  sentence and there you have it.  You are alone.  I'm tired of crying myself to sleep at night.  I'm tired of feeling sad.  I'm tired of wondering why he found someone.  I'm tired of being the better person and turning the other cheek.  All it does is causes you to end up alone.


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