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Hearts, love and all that jazz

It's officially February.  The first day brings two wonderful events.  My sister and brother-in-law's wedding anniversary and my niece's birthday.  Then you move on to the mushy love stuff.

This year, it's all hitting me hard.  My sister and brother-in-law are celebrating 21 years, my niece is turning 18 and again, I'm single on Valentine's Day.  And I think, will I ever have a love that's lasted 21 years, or will I end up alone.

A little melodramatic, I know, but it's how I feel.  Granted, I have had some interest but for one reason or another, I end up getting scared away, which tells me two things: One, obviously I'm not ready for a relationship and two, the right person hasn't come along.  I want fireworks damnit!  I get claustrophobic.  Feel suffocated.  And start lacing the running shoes up when kids get mentioned whether it be mine or theirs.  Too much too soon. And of course I have a strict policy about Barbie, Jr. meeting anyone.  Not with the separation issues she's been having.

Being in a relationship sounds nice, but I like my time.  My time alone, my time with Barbie, Jr.  MY time.  And I'm just not ready to share that yet.  Maybe I'm weird, maybe I'm selfish, but it's my life and I'll live it my way.


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