Skip to main content

New beginnings...

Beginnings are scary, endings are usually sad, but it's the middle that counts the most. Try to remember that when you find yourself at a new beginning. Just give hope a chance to float up. And it will, too...


My divorce is now final and I'm in the middle of moving. Ironically, I got my divorce order AND my keys to my new house on the same day, which also happened to be Friday the 13th!

The times I find myself alone, I end up bitter and angry that he has found someone. Not out of jealousy, but because I'm the one who spent half my life miserable. HE stole my happiness. Why does HE deserve to be happy? Why do I deserve to spend my days alone while he spends his with the weenie woman and her son? Yet at the same time, I hope he finds happiness. I hope in all this he has learned how to treat others. That in order to have a relationship, you have to be honest. And sometimes, put others first. I find myself doubting that he has learned anything other than using it all to gain sympathy from others.

For me, I want time. I don't want to rush into anything just to have someone. I want to take my time, live life, and if I happen to find Prince Charming then that's okay too.

Comments

Anonymous said…
You sound like a very special person! Best wishes!

Popular posts from this blog

I refuse to be irrelevant.

After insisting to my friends at work that I had *tried* to watch "Grace and Frankie" I discovered that I lied.  I had watched maybe 15 minutes of the show.  So I gave it a second chance.  I'm about halfway through the first season and something the character Grace said hit me like a ton of bricks.  "I refuse to be irrelevant."

I. Refuse. To. Be. Irrelevant.

To me it is a powerful statement.  And one I need to relate to more.  Because I can so related to feeling irrelevant these days.  I feel like I don't matter.  I mean of course, there are people I matter to, and others who make me feel irrelevant.  Who make me feel like my presence doesn't matter.  And I blame myself.

Tomorrow is my birthday and I don't even care.  I've always been all woohoo, my birthday is coming up.  This year? I could care less.  It's a Tuesday.  I have zero expectations.  I'm sure people on Facebook will wish me happy birthday, but otherwise, it just feels like a…

Who says you can't go home?

It was between the lyrics "I went as far as I could, I tried to find a new face. There isn't one of these lines that I would erase. I lived a million miles of memories on that road." and "Guess who's back?  Back again?" for the title to this post, but "Who says you can't go home?" seemed perfect as I feel like I'm home again.

It's silly, I know.  I don't know if anyone even reads blogs anymore.  I don't know if anyone reads mine.  It doesn't really matter.  My therapist suggested I write again whether it be in my journal or blogging.  But my immediate thought was this blog.  This is where I poured my heart out for years and it feels like my home. The last post I made here was about how wonderful my life was.  How much better it was. That was a little over a year ago.  And let me tell you.  It's been a hell of a year. My kiddos are wonderful.  Barbie Jr. while still sassy at times, is becoming such a beautiful (of course…

Time flies when you're having fun.

Heck, I don't even know if anyone still reads my madness or not.  But here I am, posting again.   Let's see, since my last post Barbie Jr has officially become a teenager and Barbie Girl is a mother yet again.   A teenager and a newborn, should be interesting.   I've been off work several months due to pregnancy related health issues and just hope to have a job to return to.  As scary as becoming a mother again was, it has all come back to me.  My whole world is officially complete.  My life is better than I ever could have imagined.  I've come a long way. A really long way.