I'm home alone, yet AGAIN. Nothing to do. And yes, yes I did just cry because I realized someone defriended me on Facebook. And it's not even anyone I give a shit about, but it still made me cry. And I'm even MORE mad at the fact that I was asked by THREE different people to go to the Daughtry concert tonight and I turned down all invites, just sure that my evening would be filled with something more exciting than staring at these fucking pink walls and getting all butthurt over Facebook.
I actually got the line "I refuse to sink" off a picture of a tattoo on Facebook. But it's fitting for the way I feel right now. I feel like I'm sinking, sinking, sinking. Financially, mentally, physically, emotionally, any way possible. The financial issues are probably the stem of all the other issues. I don't know how many people have told me, just don't worry, God will provide. I'm a Christian, but I suspect when the day comes that they come to shut off my electric or cable or water that they are going to want cold hard cash, not a sermon. And forgive me, I don't mean to mock God but I'm just cynical right now. The weeks I have Barbie, Jr. are pretty good, aside from last week when we were sick. But she keeps me busy, she keeps me sane. The weeks like this, when she's gone I'm lost, lonesome, sad. I'm tired of being a doormat. Someone's last thought. Their option. Tired of not standing up for myself whether it be ...
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