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No more tears?

I recall Thanksgiving 2010. I had just split from Ken and felt devastated, yet was trying to be strong and be okay for the sake of pleasing my family. The day before Thanksgiving I wrote Ken a letter, pouring my heart out to him, about all the things I knew I had done wrong in our marriage and how much I wanted us to work things out. I recall him picking up Barbie, Jr., me giving him the several page letter and my anxiously awaiting a response.  He texted me and told me we could never work things out and to leave him alone.  I don't think I have ever been so devastated in my whole life.  I cried for hours upon hours that day and into Thanksgiving day.  I finally fell asleep, woke up Thanksgiving Day and decided by GOD I was going to look amazing when he met me to exchange Barbie Jr and I did just that.  I could see in his face that he thought so and he even complimented me.  I managed to hold it together that day, the highlight being my niece hugging me and telling me how proud she was of me.  It gave me strength to move on.

Thanksgiving 2011 the tears were over my cat Dolly.  I'd spent most the week in the vet's office with her and thought she was dying.  We were all bumfuzzled about what was wrong with her.  I really thought it would be my last Thanksgiving with her.  Thankfully, over the next few weeks and a few more vet visits and several shots of steroids later she started to improve.  Which brings us to Thanksgiving 2012.

It's been a long year.  I've had many ups and many downs.  While I could dwell mostly on the downs I choose not to.  I've managed to find strength when I wanted to give up.  I've been through things I never thought I would ever face.  Most importantly, I've continued to learn about me and grow.

This Thanksgiving I didn't cry. As a matter of fact, it was the happiest I've been on Thanksgiving in many, many years.  And I even had a date for Thanksgiving dinner!  It took an hour one evening and a Xanax for me to even get up the nerve to invite him, but I did, and very glad I did.  He got rave reviews from the family and the biggest bonus, he didn't run screaming from the house.

So Thanksgiving 2012 = success.  No tears and I hope it's a tradition that holds for many years to come!


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