The anxiety is still present but not as bad. Unless you consider sobbing by the time I got to work this morning bad? The worst part was the random dude sitting out back, greeting me good morning and me trying to return the greeting through my sobs. Which made me feel worse because more than likely he's from the homeless shelter and here I was, getting out of my vehicle, going to my job that pays me money and at the end of the day I would be going to my house. Oh did I mention I'm also on steriods for my asthma too. Things have worked out with Barbie, Jr. and the visitation issues we had. I just pray she adjusts well to the schedule. No matter what he's done to me, or the issues between us, he is still her dad and he deserves to see her. Things, communication and such are going well between he and I too. I have also made the decision to go back to Marshall University in January and pursue a degree in Social Work. I'm excited, scared, nervous but mostly proud of myself for making this decision. My mom was 42 when she went back to school to become an LPN which was one of my encouraging factors in this decision. My mom didn't drive until she was my age, didn't get a job outside the home until a few years later and then decided to better herself and go back to school. She kept an "A" average while dealing with me and whatever teenage angst I had going on. What I will do once I have completed it, I don't know, but undoubtedly it will be something fabulous. My personal life is soaring. I've tried to come up with a creative, Barbie-ish name for the boy but all I have come up with is Ken 2.0. It might be kind of fitting since he and the ex share the same first name! :) He is proof that good things come to those who wait. He is proof that there are soul mates. I thank God every single day for the two best things in my life, Barbie jr and Ken 2.0. I have been completely and utterly blessed. Hopefully this bout with crazy and anxiety won't scare him away. But he has this knack about him that makes me know that everything will be okay.
Heck, I don't even know if anyone still reads my madness or not. But here I am, posting again. Let's see, since my last post Barbie Jr has officially become a teenager and Barbie Girl is a mother yet again. A teenager and a newborn, should be interesting. I've been off work several months due to pregnancy related health issues and just hope to have a job to return to. As scary as becoming a mother again was, it has all come back to me. My whole world is officially complete. My life is better than I ever could have imagined. I've come a long way. A really long way.