I don't post a whole lot. Some because I'm too busy, some because I start and then draw a blank and mostly because I don't have a laptop and trying to type all my ramblings is nearly impossible from a smart phone. (Edited to add that after typing that last sentence I searched the interwebs and found a bluetooth keyboard!! How did I not know this existed??)
Right now I'm overwhelmed with life. I'm pregnant, now unmedicated, trying to continue to grasp the million aspects of my new job, trying to get my house and my life in order in preparation of the baby, worried about my niece who is having health issues, and heartbroken over my father who has been diagnosed with vascular dementia. Everything would be difficult while medicated but unmedicated I feel like a ticking timebomb. And add to that my weight and age during this pregnancy and the worry of any possible health issues for the baby.
I started this post yesterday so I don't really know where I was going with it all other than I needed an outlet to vent. I'm still blessed in so many ways and need to just enjoy life day by day. It's just really hard because day by day we see changes in my father and it makes me sad to think that he may not really know this baby. The reality of his future is just setting in for him as well so he's been really depressed. And that's difficult to see as well.
The good news is they are adjusting my niece's medication so hopefully this will help her condition. I had my blood drawn today for genetic tests to be done so now I get to wait two weeks for the results.
In the meantime I'll be saying lots of prayers and doing a lot of meditating.