Skip to main content

Overwhelmed!

I don't post a whole lot.  Some because I'm too busy, some because I start and then draw a blank and mostly because I don't have a laptop and trying to type all my ramblings is nearly impossible from a smart phone.  (Edited to add that after typing that last sentence I searched the interwebs and found a bluetooth keyboard!! How did I not know this existed??)

Right now I'm overwhelmed with life.  I'm pregnant, now unmedicated, trying to continue to grasp the million aspects of my new job, trying to get my house and my life in order in preparation of the baby, worried about my niece who is having health issues, and heartbroken over my father who has been diagnosed with vascular dementia.  Everything would be difficult while medicated but unmedicated I feel like a ticking timebomb.  And add to that my weight and age during this pregnancy and the worry of any possible health issues for the baby.

I started this post yesterday so I don't really know where I was going with it all other than I needed an outlet to vent. I'm still blessed in so many ways and need to just enjoy life day by day.  It's just really hard because day by day we see changes in my father and it makes me sad to think that he may not really know this baby.  The reality of his future is just setting in for him as well so he's been really depressed.  And that's difficult to see as well.

The good news is they are adjusting my niece's medication so hopefully this will help her condition.  I had my blood drawn today for genetic tests to be done so now I get to wait two weeks for the results.

In the meantime I'll be saying lots of prayers and doing a lot of meditating.

Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

BG: New and Improved

 Barbie girl here. It's been a while huh? Since I last posted in October, 2021 a lot has changed. My father passed away. I've gotten my heart broken, again. I had major surgery and lost over 100 pounds. I've had some really hard, honest, raw conversations with myself. Grew closer with my family. Grew closer with my children. Learned to love myself once and for all. The Grief Papa Barbie passed away in February, 2022.  It was the single, most difficult thing I have ever faced. He was my hero. The one who taught me to love baseball. The one who taught me how to do things. The one who taught me to drive on back roads of Wayne County.  It was somewhat unexpected, but he had been battling health issues for some time. He was home, in his favorite chair, just exactly where he would have wanted to be.  We suspected it was closing in on us because he started talking to family members who had passed in the months leading up to his death. My family and my sister's family had be...
Post a Comment
Read more

Kindness goes a long way

My last post was about how I refused to be irrelevant. I posted it the day before my 42nd birthday.  It was and is a phrase that has stuck with me.  I haven't blogged since, although I have been planning to. So months later, here On my birthday I received an anonymous gift of a beautiful Edible Arrangement with the attached card: I want whoever you are to know, I carry this with me in my wallet every single day.  I have a few special things that I keep with me always, a drawing Savannah did, a poem she wrote me to tell me everything would be fine when her dad and I were in an ugly custody battle, and now this.  Whoever you are, your kind gesture holds a spot among the most treasured things I carry with me day in and day out.  I take it out when I am having an especially down day to remind myself that I do matter.  That I am relevant. Yesterday was one of those days.  I was feeling down, unloved, unappreciated, so I took the note out and read...
Post a Comment
Read more