Thursday, November 20, 2014

Glimpses of karma

It's pretty sad, I blog so seldom, I had to go back and see what my last post was about.  And when.  Nearly 4 months have passed and there have been so many more changes in my life.

The big change is, I was granted an amazing job opportunity that I couldn't turn down.  So on August 15, I said goodbye to the job I'd held for over 13 years.  It was time for a change.  I'm still a paralegal but it's a completely different setting and better pay.  I can finally afford to give my daughter the things she needs and deserves without worrying how to make ends meet.

Really that's the biggest change.  There have been minor changes some of which I may have already mentioned within my family.  Good and bad but we know things could always get worse so we manage.  My dad's health has been failing for some time and we now know he has early stages of dementia.  Being a daddy's girl, it's difficult to see, but I cherish the time I have with him.

Barbie Jr is still her spunky, sassy self.  Some days I dread the next 6 years but we'll manage.  She's a good girl, being a parent to an almost teenager is just scary.  But I am thankful for the fact that I have a healthy, thriving preteen. 

I have seen glimpses of karma coming around and to be honest, you think when you are down at your lowest that you will revel in the day you see karma come along, but I'm here to tell you, it's not all it's chalked up to be.  Maybe because I've been there, I know what it's like and even given everything I've been through, the one thing I've learned in life is compassion.  Oddly enough, I came across a Facebook post made a few days ago from 4 years ago when I thought my life was over.  When my heart had been ripped out of my chest and stomped into the mud.  And the one theme throughout was that karma would come along.  And now, now that I've moved on, found forgiveness, found happiness and become a completely different person, I can't enjoy it.  I will never forget what I went through for years and especially there at the end.  I have forgiven but those memories were lessons that helped me grow as a person and grow into who I am today.  I won't put up with crap from anyone, I still try to find the good in people, but I will never ever let anyone drag me down again.  I'm stronger, wiser but I still have compassion.  And because of who I am now, I can't enjoy this karma thing.  It makes me feel yucky and I don't think God would want me basking in the misery of others.

So that's the Fall, 2014 version of Life as a Barbie Girl.  I'm happy.  Genuinely happy.  And because it may another 4 months before I blog again I wish each and every one of you a wonderful and Happy Thanksgiving and a Merry Christmas.
xoxo

BG