Friday, August 16, 2013

WOW


It's come to my attention that I'm known to a couple people as WOW.  I'm venturing to guess it stands for Wicked Ol Witch.  I could be wrong, but I'm probably not.  I find it hilarious actually.  Why you ask?  Because it means that I get under your skin SO MUCH that you came up with a nickname for me.  That's classic.  Thanks for the amusement. Thanks for the realization that for some reason, you are threatened by me.  And all I ever did was be me!

It seems as though you are mistaken however. It seems you are under the misconception that I am unhappy.  Don't confuse my blog posts with how I am.  Yes, I blog real, raw, deep down feelings.  But I leave them there.  That doesn't mean I sit around sad and down and depressed all the time.  Here's a secret, for the most part, I am HAPPY!  *gasp*  What!?!?!?!  The last time I recall crying, even just a little bit, was at a funeral about a month ago.  Guess what?  Funerals are sad. I'm a single mom.  I struggle.  While I may not have a "significant other" I'm still happy and surrounded by amazing people.  I have made that choice.  I will not settle for the first person who comes along. (unlike those who would)  Maybe I will end up alone?  If so, it's by choice, not for lack of interest.  

And here's something else.  I will never be alone.  Why?  Because I'm real.  I will always have friends and family who love me no matter what because of one thing and that's called respect.  That's how I was raised to treat people.  I can't say it's all in how you are raised because I know at least one of you was raised to respect people.  You seem to have forgotten that.  And my respect for others gains me respect BY others and it's why people like me.  I don't have to put on to make people like me.  I could name 5 people, and not just family, that would be there for me at any time I called them, day or night.  How many do you have left?  You've lost most of your friends and your family.  There's a line in a song by Kelly Clarkson.  "You'll die together but alone."  Sadly, if you don't pull your head out of your ass, this will ring true for you some day.  You've turned into nothing but a puppet allowing someone to control your every thought and your every move.

August 24, 2002 was the happiest day of my life.  The second happiest? May 11, 2011.  It was the day the judge granted the divorce and gave me my life back.  I spent a good part of nearly 13 years unhappy, crying and miserable.  On May 11, 2011 I got me back.  I started living again.  And I left that part of me in the past.  The weight of the world was lifted from my shoulders when the judge said we were divorced.  I was finally free.  From that day forward, anything between us was done in the matter of what was best for our child.  I've put the abuse aside, the cheating, the betray.  That's in the past. Our daughter is the future.  And you did for a while.  But now, you seem set on how many ways you can try and break me.  On how many ways you can take me down.  You've known me for over half my life, you haven't broken me yet, what makes you think you can now?  Oh, because you no longer think for yourself.  You are doing what you are told and what someone else is making you believe what is best for your child.  Who I might add is pretty damn smart.  She picks up on much more than you realize.  And if you aren't careful, you'll push her away too.

I can sleep at night knowing I am good mom.  I'm not perfect.  Not in any way.  I make mistakes. I own up to them.  Again, something you've never learned to do.  I'll make mistakes as a parent.  That's part of being a parent.  But whatever I do in life, whether she's by my side or with you, I do with her being put first.  That will be how it is until the day I die.  I have and will continue to sacrifice for her.  I've been more than reasonable with you because I want you to be in her life.  She loves me and she loves you and a kid needs both parents.

I can also sleep at night with who I am.  I can sleep at night knowing I'm doing the best I can with our daughter.  And let me tell you, I sleep damn well!

Monday, August 05, 2013

Don't stop believing....

A little over a month ago, the story of a local dog touched our hearts.  He was found in a ditch, injured, was taken in where he laid in a garage for 3 days, could not stand, he was fed but the person was just waiting for the shelter to open to take him in.  The lovely group of ladies that I foster for, found out, was able to get him and rushed him to the vet.

A month ago today he underwent extensive surgery to his leg and pelvis. Going in, it was uncertain as to whether or not he would even be able to keep his leg.  During surgery it was discovered that his injuries were most likely a few weeks old.  Luckily, his leg was repaired and stabilized with a pin.  That weekend I was asked to foster him.

I was nervous. I have fostered in the past many times but he would require crate rest and different care than I was used to.  Reluctantly I agreed to it.  I picked him up on July 8th.

In the days following I was put at ease. I would have to carry him off the back porch so he could potty.  Pick him back up and take him back inside.  But I didn't mind.  He laid around for a while but each day, with each tail wag getting faster, I have watched him grow stronger.  Become more playful.  And live the life a puppy should live.

Today was a month since his surgery.  And laying in bed this morning it put a smile on my face to hear him come over and bark, and look at me with his tail wagging telling me to get up.  And I smiled as I watched Journey (yes, that's his name) and Lady in the back yard playing together.  And he looked so happy.

I'm so glad I agreed to foster Journey.  I'm glad I didn't let my fear stop me.  Because watching the transformation he's gone through, is fitting to his name, it's been one heck of a journey.