Tomorrow would have been my 15th wedding anniversary. The last two years it didn't bother me. This year it does. Why? I don't know. All I know is that I can finally admit that I know deep down we don't belong together, there will always be that part of me that loves him. Feelings I've been afraid to own up to for two years. But I realize it's okay, you don't spend half your life with someone and expect to feel nothing at all. So I send this song out in memory of what once was.
It was between the lyrics "I went as far as I could, I tried to find a new face. There isn't one of these lines that I would erase. I lived a million miles of memories on that road." and "Guess who's back? Back again?" for the title to this post, but "Who says you can't go home?" seemed perfect as I feel like I'm home again.
It's silly, I know. I don't know if anyone even reads blogs anymore. I don't know if anyone reads mine. It doesn't really matter. My therapist suggested I write again whether it be in my journal or blogging. But my immediate thought was this blog. This is where I poured my heart out for years and it feels like my home. The last post I made here was about how wonderful my life was. How much better it was. That was a little over a year ago. And let me tell you. It's been a hell of a year. My kiddos are wonderful. Barbie Jr. while still sassy at times, is becoming such a beautiful (of course…
It's silly, I know. I don't know if anyone even reads blogs anymore. I don't know if anyone reads mine. It doesn't really matter. My therapist suggested I write again whether it be in my journal or blogging. But my immediate thought was this blog. This is where I poured my heart out for years and it feels like my home. The last post I made here was about how wonderful my life was. How much better it was. That was a little over a year ago. And let me tell you. It's been a hell of a year. My kiddos are wonderful. Barbie Jr. while still sassy at times, is becoming such a beautiful (of course…
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