Friday, June 29, 2012

If you're a bird, I'm a bird

I was talking the other day about how turning 35 was difficult for me.  But at the same time it was exciting.  I knew without any doubt, 35 would bring about big change for me, and it did.  Two weeks after my birthday is when he and I separated.  And my life began to change, for the better.  And yes, I've hit a few bumps along the way, the biggest being the past few months with what I've faced with Barbie, Jr.  And it doesn't seem to be over yet.  But for the first time ever for me, everything seems to be falling into place for me.  

For the first time in a long time I am happier than I have been in years.  There have been times in the past year I thought I was happy, and I was, but not like this. He makes my heart skip a beat, takes my breath away and puts a big smile on my face. He's the one I've been told all along doesn't exist.  All men are the same they would tell me, guys like that don't exist.  Well, he's living proof that there are nice, genuine men out there.  He's the sweetest, handsomest (yes that's a word), most amazing, wonderful guy I have ever met.  And it's all real. And he's all mine. :)

Monday, June 18, 2012

I has a smile!

Barbie Girl has a smile.  Taking things slow.  Road trip on Wednesday.  So far so good.  And he's Barbie, Jr. approved.

Sunday, June 17, 2012

Sunday, June 10, 2012

Knight in shining armor

So I'm pretty happy with life.  I know I keep saying this but I am finally at this point where I've accepted who I am.  When I first separated from my ex, I could never understand what anyone would want me for.  I felt hideous and was convinced with each date I went on, that the guy would take one look at me and run for the hills.  This isn't to say I don't still get nervous when I go out, but I now have the confidence I once lacked.  And I figure, if he wants to take one look at me and run, then he's not the one for me.

A friend recently told me that I had changed so much over the past year.  I wasn't sure how to take it at first but he went on to say that I have gone from this insecure, beat down girl to a happy, confident girl who loves life.  It was probably one of the best compliments I have ever received.

Sure, I absolutely hate the way I look in a swimsuit but you know what, it's not often I wear one.  And again, if someone wants to judge me by how I look, then I don't want that person anyway. I had this discussion last night and a girl said, for every one guy who doesn't want her, there are ten more that do.  And she was so right.  

I have my moments where I get frustrated with being alone. Especially when I seem to be surrounded by happy couples.  Or at least couples pretending to be happy. But I haven't come across my happy in that respect yet.  I'm working on it.  I have this stupid hang up in my head about how I want a summer romance. Funny I know, but I'm just being honest.  Of course ideally, it would last longer than just the summer, but the summer is a start.  Then again, I'm not going to get in a relationship just to have this.

So for now, I'll continue to just be me and be me being happy.  I'll spend the summer with my baby girl.  Lounging at my sister's pool.  And if my knight in shining armor happens by then that will be okay too!