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Knight in shining armor

So I'm pretty happy with life.  I know I keep saying this but I am finally at this point where I've accepted who I am.  When I first separated from my ex, I could never understand what anyone would want me for.  I felt hideous and was convinced with each date I went on, that the guy would take one look at me and run for the hills.  This isn't to say I don't still get nervous when I go out, but I now have the confidence I once lacked.  And I figure, if he wants to take one look at me and run, then he's not the one for me.

A friend recently told me that I had changed so much over the past year.  I wasn't sure how to take it at first but he went on to say that I have gone from this insecure, beat down girl to a happy, confident girl who loves life.  It was probably one of the best compliments I have ever received.

Sure, I absolutely hate the way I look in a swimsuit but you know what, it's not often I wear one.  And again, if someone wants to judge me by how I look, then I don't want that person anyway. I had this discussion last night and a girl said, for every one guy who doesn't want her, there are ten more that do.  And she was so right.  

I have my moments where I get frustrated with being alone. Especially when I seem to be surrounded by happy couples.  Or at least couples pretending to be happy. But I haven't come across my happy in that respect yet.  I'm working on it.  I have this stupid hang up in my head about how I want a summer romance. Funny I know, but I'm just being honest.  Of course ideally, it would last longer than just the summer, but the summer is a start.  Then again, I'm not going to get in a relationship just to have this.

So for now, I'll continue to just be me and be me being happy.  I'll spend the summer with my baby girl.  Lounging at my sister's pool.  And if my knight in shining armor happens by then that will be okay too!


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