Skip to main content

Moving on

It's been a really random few days. I've discovered, sometimes being strong for the sake of your child is sometimes really difficult but something that must be done.

I've realized that some people will continue to live life playing the victim. As in, never owning up to the mistakes they make. I will be the first to tell you, I make mistakes and I've made plenty of them. I have learned from them. And I move on. MOVE ON being the key word. My plea to asshat is, move on and quit making my life a living hell. I've admitted the mistakes I made and I am attempting to get on with my life. I don't deserve the hell you have put me through for over 15 years and you sure as hell never deserved me. But I got the best of you and she's asleep beside me. Because of your actions that you can't seem to own up to, I get the joy of going to bed snuggled up to her every night while you lay in your cold, lonesome bed at your parent's house.

I realize each day how lucky I am. I'm surrounded by wonderful, amazing people. I've lost some friends but made new ones along the way. I've found someone who makes me feel like the most beautiful woman on the planet and I am damn lucky to have found him. I've learned a lot about myself because of him. I've learned to ignore the rules and follow my heart. I no longer worry about "the people" and their preconceived notions of how life and love should be. And after all these years, the movie "The Notebook" makes sense.

"So it's not gonna be easy. It's going to be really hard; we're gonna have to work at this everyday, but I want to do that because I want you. I want all of you, forever, everyday. You and me... everyday."

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

Who says you can't go home?

It was between the lyrics "I went as far as I could, I tried to find a new face. There isn't one of these lines that I would erase. I lived a million miles of memories on that road." and "Guess who's back?  Back again?" for the title to this post, but "Who says you can't go home?" seemed perfect as I feel like I'm home again.

It's silly, I know.  I don't know if anyone even reads blogs anymore.  I don't know if anyone reads mine.  It doesn't really matter.  My therapist suggested I write again whether it be in my journal or blogging.  But my immediate thought was this blog.  This is where I poured my heart out for years and it feels like my home. The last post I made here was about how wonderful my life was.  How much better it was. That was a little over a year ago.  And let me tell you.  It's been a hell of a year. My kiddos are wonderful.  Barbie Jr. while still sassy at times, is becoming such a beautiful (of course…

Time flies when you're having fun.

Heck, I don't even know if anyone still reads my madness or not.  But here I am, posting again.   Let's see, since my last post Barbie Jr has officially become a teenager and Barbie Girl is a mother yet again.   A teenager and a newborn, should be interesting.   I've been off work several months due to pregnancy related health issues and just hope to have a job to return to.  As scary as becoming a mother again was, it has all come back to me.  My whole world is officially complete.  My life is better than I ever could have imagined.  I've come a long way. A really long way.

Glimpses of karma

It's pretty sad, I blog so seldom, I had to go back and see what my last post was about.  And when.  Nearly 4 months have passed and there have been so many more changes in my life.

The big change is, I was granted an amazing job opportunity that I couldn't turn down.  So on August 15, I said goodbye to the job I'd held for over 13 years.  It was time for a change.  I'm still a paralegal but it's a completely different setting and better pay.  I can finally afford to give my daughter the things she needs and deserves without worrying how to make ends meet.

Really that's the biggest change.  There have been minor changes some of which I may have already mentioned within my family.  Good and bad but we know things could always get worse so we manage.  My dad's health has been failing for some time and we now know he has early stages of dementia.  Being a daddy's girl, it's difficult to see, but I cherish the time I have with him.

Barbie Jr is still he…