Barbie's land of happy, and blessed, and happy

I don't know where to start. As I stated, I'm happy. Very happy. But it's not just about finding someone. It's about all the things. Rekindling my relationship with God. (okay, so maybe it IS about finding someone) Letting go of years of bitterness and anger and resentment. Spending the past year with someone who brick by brick has singlehandedly brought down the walls I had built up around my heart. Finding inspiration at church again.

Tuesday I leave with my fella on a trip overnight to visit his parents. I'm meeting the parents. It's been 19 years and 8 months since I met parents. I'm a nervous wreck, but I was 18 the last time I met parents so I have to be less awkward now than I was then, right? I'm excited at the same time.

Since returning to church and finding my faith again, I've noticed many things. For one, I am happier. I find that I am more understanding and tolerant of people. I find that I want to be a better person. I find things falling slowly in place for me. Little things here and there.

I'm excited about what the future holds for once in my life. Being the week of Thanksgiving, I am thankful for many things. Thankful for my family. The amazing friends I have. That my fella was patient and stuck around. That I've regained faith. I could go on and on, but those are the main things. Hope you have many things to be thankful for this Thanksgiving as well.

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Look What the Cat Dragged In

It's been a hot minute huh? 1,312 days to be exact. Yes, I gave it a goog. I've been back several times but words escaped me. Nothing would come out. I was in a bad place for a long time. But after a whole lot of patience, many prayers, and the support of my family and friends, I made it. And it's worked out well for all of us. We moved early this year into a cute little house. Just me and my kids. My little guy, we will call him Felix, he's happier and has been a champ with the change. He gets the best of both worlds. Barbie Jr, she's been a Godsend. I don't know what I would have done without her. There have been differences in ending a relationship vs. divorce (obviously). Ins and outs. But this time around, I can actually say Felix's father and I are doing pretty well at this co-parenting thing. Which is an odd situation for me given what I went through with Ken. But even that part is going well. Barbie Jr. graduated from high school in M

Kindness goes a long way

My last post was about how I refused to be irrelevant. I posted it the day before my 42nd birthday. It was and is a phrase that has stuck with me. I haven't blogged since, although I have been planning to. So months later, here On my birthday I received an anonymous gift of a beautiful Edible Arrangement with the attached card: I want whoever you are to know, I carry this with me in my wallet every single day. I have a few special things that I keep with me always, a drawing Savannah did, a poem she wrote me to tell me everything would be fine when her dad and I were in an ugly custody battle, and now this. Whoever you are, your kind gesture holds a spot among the most treasured things I carry with me day in and day out. I take it out when I am having an especially down day to remind myself that I do matter. That I am relevant. Yesterday was one of those days. I was feeling down, unloved, unappreciated, so I took the note out and read it. And through my tears of frustr

I refuse to be irrelevant.

After insisting to my friends at work that I had *tried* to watch "Grace and Frankie" I discovered that I lied. I had watched maybe 15 minutes of the show. So I gave it a second chance. I'm about halfway through the first season and something the character Grace said hit me like a ton of bricks. "I refuse to be irrelevant." I. Refuse. To. Be. Irrelevant. To me it is a powerful statement. And one I need to relate to more. Because I can so related to feeling irrelevant these days. I feel like I don't matter. I mean of course, there are people I matter to, and others who make me feel irrelevant. Who make me feel like my presence doesn't matter. And I blame myself. Tomorrow is my birthday and I don't even care. I've always been all woohoo, my birthday is coming up. This year? I could care less. It's a Tuesday. I have zero expectations. I'm sure people on Facebook will wish me happy birthday, but otherwise, it just feels l

Step Away From The Barbies

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