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There's no crying at work.

My attitude has not improved since two nights ago. It maybe improved briefly but has returned to the sadness. I've spent the day at work fighting the urge to sit at my desk and sob or throw things and scream.  In the grand scheme of things, I KNOW I have so much to be thankful for. I remind myself of this multiple times a day. But I also know how real my depression is. And no matter how much therapy, what medication I take or what I do, it will be something I struggle with for the rest of my life.

I envy happy people. I have become the greatest actress at faking happiness. I realize I don't need *someone* to be happy.  I like my alone time, I like not having someone in my space at all times, but as I said in my last blog, I miss companionship.  I miss the friendship.  I miss having someone to call mine.  I miss inside jokes. I miss secrets. I miss having someone to love.


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Comments

Steven Allen Adams said…
I wish I had some words to offer.
9:28 AM
Barbie Girl said…
Thank you! Getting it off my chest helps.
1:59 PM
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