Tuesday, October 01, 2013

Haunted Memories

It seems ironic to me that in a weeks span of time not only did I realize that I'm finally happy with my life, that I also learn my past is coming back to haunt me.  I've reached the point where I'm doing well.  I'm happy.  I have a boyfriend.  I'm taking care of myself.  I did my first ever 5k.  I'm finally getting my shit together.  The ironic part being, I've moved past what happened to me 2 1/2 years ago... or so I thought.

I learned today that during that moment when my life forever changed, that my life did indeed forever changed.  The day it happened I went to the ER and was diagnosed with a concussion. What was missed was that I had had whiplash and a fractured c-6 vertebra. Basically, the most severe whiplash you can suffer. So this person who was supposed to love me, attacked me with such force that it fractured my neck.    And because it was never diagnosed, it didn't heal properly, so I now suffer from pain in my neck and numbness and pain in my shoulder and arm due to the vertebra pressing against a nerve.  The only thing that may alleviate it would be surgery.

I've gone between wanting to cry and being angry all day.  Something I thought was caused from sleeping wrong, was caused by the man who swore for 17 years that he loved me.  Had a funny way of showing it, huh?