I come home from work after a quick trip to Wal-Mart to pick up dinner. Hamburger, buns, tomatoes, red onion and fries. It was going to be good. Little did I know I would later return for first aid items.
I pull into the driveway to a grinning 4 1/2 year old, an asshat and Jimmy's replacement who I will call Jimmy 2. Jimmy 2 isn't a bad influence on asshat. You see, I wasn't worried when I went to Denver because I knew Jimmy 2 would kick asshats ass if he did anything stupid. So anyhow, I go to the kitchen and wash the dishes. I'm happy. I'm singing out loud. Even with the kitchen window open. J2 didn't know what to think. He sang back.
I wash off my tomato and began to slice, using the Pampered Chef slicer I got during my brief stint as a Pampered Chef consultant. (Uh, the following story is example A of why I am no longer a PC consultant) So off, happily slicing away I go and OOOF. I shout "OH my GOD I think I just sliced off my thumb." I was afraid to look. Seriously afraid. I look down and blood is pouring out of my righ thumb. I damn near sliced the tip of my thumb off. I get all panicked. I go outside and go LOOK. J2 can't look and asshat said "You are fine." I say, "How do I know if I need stitches?" they laugh and then J2 says to me. Barbie Girl. Are you okay? You are sort of pale? To which I reply. I'm feeling kinda woozy. I better go lie down. And I did. At which point I realized, this is why I never went to nursing school. Why I am not nurse Barbie. So I sucked up my agony and got up and bandaged my wound. I'm telling you, it's a deep one.
So then, while sitting on the porch, I realize I also got my right middle finger down through the fingernail. How I got it I'll never know.
After dinner I return to the Hell-mart err, um, Wal-Mart for first aid supplies. My friend who works in the pharmacy was there so she helped me select the best items for my emergency. SO while there I pick up some pink rubber gloves to wear for washing dishes or doing random household chores. They are so stylish in fact, I may just wear them every day.
1 comments:
Ouch, ouch, ouch! That sounds awful! I hope you're healing okay. And hey, I think you should wear the pink gloves to work, wait for people to ask about them, and then when they ask, you should act all offended as if, "What, you don't like them?"
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